Once upon a time back in English class I had to fart really bad.

I was a bit of a dork back then.

Actually, I still am but that’s not the point.

Anyway, being the idiot that I am decided that it would be silent.

I’d slowly squeeze it out.

It wasn’t.

Miss Wayment was going on about Ann’s shitty homework when she was interrupted by my cannon fire fart.

That thing cracked. It stung.